I remember the moment when I felt so worn down that I needed a break from everything. After 11 years of staying home with my kids I didn't feel like I had anything for just me.

I was sitting by the pool with a friend at the end of summer after staying home with the kids for 3 months. We were both exhausted. It’s a feeling that’s hard to admit as a mom… I wasn’t unhappy, I was just… worn down and exhausted. I needed a break! I said to her “I want to go on a vacation alone”. 

I appreciated being able to stay at home with the kids, It is the best thing in the world and I was so lucky to be able to do that. But I also remember thinking: When do I get to do something just for me? I felt guilty asking for a vacation or time for myself when I wasn’t working or making any money (can any other moms relate?!)

I kept thinking about it. How could I get some intentional time to myself? I figured I couldn’t just take off on a vacation. BUT. If I went on a retreat with a purpose and with other women that would feel safe and doable. I had never traveled alone. 

I started looking at retreats online and found one in Texas hosted by a chic I'd been following on Instagram. It sounded amazing. But there was still no way I was going to just book a retreat for myself. Then, magically, she was doing a giveaway for a free spot at the retreat! She was hosting a “Sacred Self Care session” on zoom. “Join us live for a chance to win a free spot at the upcoming retreat.” The call was September 17th. It was September 12th.

I put the intention out there that I was going to win this retreat. I wrote it out. I did an abundance workshop. I believed I was going on this retreat. I got on the first call. There was a girl I noticed right away with dark hair. I knew she was going to win. And she did.

They announced a while after that call that they would do another giveaway on October 8th at noon. So I got on the call again. There were 48 women on it. One of us was going to win. And. I won. A $4,000 retreat in Texas. The entire experience. My cute little glamping hut. Free. All organic food prepared by an awesome Chef. Included. 30 women in the community for 4 nights. Exactly what I needed. Unbelievable. 

I had manifested exactly what I wanted and needed and all I had to do was get myself there. I had no excuse not to go. I was going to Texas. It was meant to be. I was supposed to be there… My husband was skeptical. Thought it was a scam or a cult or trying to sell something. But I booked a flight and went… It was real!

At the retreat, I experienced breathwork for the very first time. Every single person that participated in that breathwork session walked away feeling like something in them had shifted. No 2 experiences were the same. Everyone has their own shit, right.

I just kept hearing in my head, in my subconscious or wherever 'let go'. LET GO. I still can't even explain what happened that night but there were emotions and maybe some trauma there I had never thought about, let alone process. I actually ended up puking. 

The next morning I was thinking about what happened the night before and realized I had been carrying some of my grandmas trauma and struggles. The retreat included ancestral work and conversations about the things we can carry through our families and throughout our lives and something in me unlocked that during that breathwork session. I processed and healed a little piece of me. 

I started thinking about how many things we carry because of the way we were raised, the expectations placed on us by others, or the messages society has taught us about who we’re supposed to be. What am I carrying because I chose it—and what am I carrying because someone else taught me I should? How much of what we carry isn’t necessarily ours to begin with. So many thoughts like this unraveled after this experience.

I felt like I had become aware of something I hadn't even realized—and simply bringing that awareness to the surface was eye opening and something I couldn’t unsee. I felt like there was so much more I could uncover if I just took the time to pay attention and listen to myself and my intuition. Then I could process.

That was when I was like-everyone needs to try this.I saw how something as simple as breathing could create a space for people to connect with themselves, bring awareness to emotions, and process things that may have been sitting beneath the surface.

Besides my own experience, hearing the other 30 women talk about what came up for them, I was just floored by it.  Everyone had a different experience. I couldn’t even tell you what had happened exactly. I just remember breathing and music then it was almost like a dream or dropping into the subconscious. 

I returned home from that retreat and everything changed, I just knew that for the first time in a long time, I had found something that felt purposeful. (besides raising my kids). I knew I wanted to serve people, not sit at a desk 40 hours a week and build websites. 

That’s when I decided to get certified as Somatic Breathwork Practitioner. I didn't need to go back to the career I had before becoming a mom. I could find something different. I could create something new. Something that combined my own experiences, my passion for wellness, my desire to help people, and the part of me that had been looking for something more.

I've experienced firsthand how powerful it can be to simply give yourself permission to stop, breathe, and listen to what's happening inside of you. Sometimes it brings awareness. Sometimes it brings emotion. Sometimes it brings relief. And sometimes you don't know what you're going to experience until you simply allow yourself to begin.

And I started thinking:

How many other women are feeling exactly the way I was?

Women who love their families but feel like they've lost themselves a little along the way.

Women who are overwhelmed.

Women who are constantly taking care of everyone else.

Women who feel disconnected from their bodies.

Women who don't necessarily need another thing on their to-do list…

They just need to breathe.

A moment to come back to themselves. To remember the fun, social woman they were before the dishes, laundry, and waiting on everyone, putting themselves last.

A moment where they don't have to be someone's mom, wife, employee, caregiver, or everything-to-everyone. Just themselves.